I channel surfed radio stations until one song line grabbed my attention. The artist sang about a woman who could stare straight at the sun but was scared to look in the mirror.
That line exposed much of the illumination I’ve discovered this year. I’m ordinarily not one to back down from a challenge and love to jump into new possibilities. Lately though, I’ve been shadowed by what I’d call a spiritual solar eclipse. Layers of unobserved darkness have surfaced, and I’ve needed to face some once-hidden emotions and thoughts.
A cloud of revelation lifted after I recalled how I took significant career and business risks to have my books published. Those printed messages had been inside me for years, but until the public read and reviewed those first two books, (Life’s Too Short for Dull Razors, Cheap Pens, and Worn-Out Underwear; The FROG Blog: Lessons from a Lily Pad), I didn’t realize I had such glaring pride.
This reality shocked me because I don’t consider myself naturally competitive. I inwardly shrink when it comes to public engagement and prefer to encourage other people’s accomplishments before I celebrate what the world considers successful.
Initially, I was incredibly uncomfortable with being invited to speak at conferences, book signings, and interviews. Published authors taught me how to solicit book reviews and increase my online searches. SEO marketers urged me to “frequently put myself out there and everywhere.” Slowly, I found myself liking the attention.
The sun grew bright, the mirror grew dark. I became emotionally scorched, spiritually parched and mentally dehydrated. I’ve continued to write, but it’s been two years since I’ve had a book published. When I sadly realized how many blistering thoughts I had about myself and others, I stopped to look in the mirror. How does God see me? How do I view myself? Not the world’s view. Just God and me.
Writing is part of what I’m called to do. It’s like breathing to me, but I need to return to my Audience of One. To create how God guides, without algorithm or public pressure. Just God and me.
Does He smile on what I write? Do I mirror His light? I have much yet to uncover, discover and recover. I accept new engagements and life coaching clients, but instead of running to the power of the sun, I’ll stare at the mirror of my soul and allow Spirit guidance.
Lord, help me recreate my mirror image from the inside out. Let it reflect You. Keep me from growing blind or dim. Make me appreciate the grow before the glow.
Courageously sunbathing in God’s eyes,
Christina
…so Gideon said, “Alas, O Lord God! For I have seen the Angel of the Lord face to face. Then the Lord said to him, “Peace be with you; do not fear, you shall die” (Judges 6:22).
For 5-minute audio clips, go to You Tube: A Slice of PIE with Christina Mae
Reader! Your turn!
What have you discovered about yourself when you look in the mirror?
How do you want/need to change your image?
Please kindly share your comments so we can learn from each other.