Sometimes, I’m challenged to conduct myself appropriately. I speak out of turn or disregard wisdom to follow an instinct.

I wonder, “Wow. If I battle this much with my thoughts and priorities, how, as a loss-support  coach, can I l guide others to make their next best move?”

When I notice how quickly life changes, I learn to release my attempts to control others. I’m finding that I’m more eager to listen to understand. I’m motivated to see people uncover wisdom that’s crafted in their DNA.

At times, I question my abilities and doubt if I’m equipped to manage what God calls me to lead. I know only God is qualified to handle all creation.

I’ve recently learned that anger is fear that wears a mask. Our world has tolerated violence birthed from fear. Inner trauma breeds volatile attacks.  We worry because we sense a loss of control.

Panic, dread, agitation, uneasiness, and hesitation are all fear-driven disguises.  I’ve narrowed my restlessness down to three general areas Past, present, and future.

I expose this brief inner dialogue about my concerns for yesterday, today, and tomorrow:

Past: “Uh-oh.” When I experienced x, y, z last time, _____ happened.” Here I go again.”  “When I saw _____ last year, x & y happened.”

These responses can bring yesterday’s clouds into today’s sunshine. I limit myself when I assume past situations will determine future endings.  When I release that restriction, I allow updates.

Present: “Yikes! I didn’t see this coming.” “Do I have enough ___ to handle x, y, z?” “Will ___ add new wounds? Will I move through this scar-free?”

I’ve found that when I avoid or delay a decision, that situation eventually shows up to teach its lesson. The integrity exam returns and this time, maybe the character test is masked with a new disguise. The person or scenario may be different, and I’m challenged to responds differently.  Do I upgrade my past approach or risk a potentially more demanding test in the future?

Future: “Holy buckets! What if flood waters overpower and drag me under?” Will I survive the next hour? The next day? What about next year?”

What’s the deal, Christina? “Do I fear change? Do I fear something or someone different? I pause to peel my nervousness back to find another layer of control issues. I’ve learned that my best defense is to stop and tame the proverbial monkey chatter. I expose these noisy monkeys and send them back to their cages.

When I exercise these strategies, I build a stronger core. My internal management can strengthen others so they can practice a braver version of themselves. We are equipped with courage. We gain confidence when we activate character upgrades.   

Peace Giver, gently shake me from my comfort zone. Awaken me to know You created us with boldness. Mask me with your tranquil confidence.

Building assurance from Your leadership,


Reader! Your turn!

What past situation has recently presented itself for you to address?

How did you handle a person or situation in the past?

What will you do differently to set yourself up for beneficial change?

Please add your comments so we can learn from each other!

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want (Phil. 4:12).

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