Unthawed: Lessons from a Frozen Lily Pad published in July! I’m working on Knee Deep, the next book in the FROG Blog series. Knee Deep contains material that I never expected to write about so until that book progresses, I post a piece from the original FROG Blog: Learning on a Lily Pad. My three books are available at Barnes and Noble, Amazon and Kindle.

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The word ‘actually’ seems to be used more frequently in many conversations I’ve had lately. I’m not sure if ‘actually’ is a version of “like” (i.e. ‘That play was so like amazing’) or if I’m simply more aware of ‘actually’ being used as a clarifying filler. For example, when somebody explains what they mean, the person may say, “actually, the situation was more eventful than…” or “it was actually most frustrating because it was something you’d see when…”

In all actuality, I ponder another phrase from the lily pad of observations. “To be honest with you.” I hear a version of this nearly every day, “This is what “x’ is saying, but to be honest with you, I think…” Or abbreviated, “Honestly? I really think she should tell him…”

When did we incorporate honesty as a clarifying statement? When speaking, do we need to credit truth with a phrase or word that assures listeners or viewers we’re being truthful? I tested a potential response I’d like to incorporate when someone says honestly. I tried this on a longtime friend who honestly has a great sense of humor and is truthful about feedback.

Speaker: “Honestly?”

Me: (mild interruption) “Yes, versus dishonestly.” (insert a wink when the speaker understands the wit)


Speaker: “She can do whatever she wants, but to be honest with you, I think she needs to…”

Me (after the honest person finishes their sentence): “Just so I know we’re on the same page, you said she can do whatever she wants, but to be honest with you…,’ When you said you were being honest with me, was there a dishonest version of this situation/conversation/opinion that you were going to share also?” (another wink and smile to indicate I’m not pontificating).

This friend cautioned me to only use this banter with discretion (translate: that could turn sideways in a hurry). I appreciate her honesty! I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. If there’s truth but it won’t add value or love to someone, I will honestly remain silent.

Seeking truth in love from a lily pad in the FROG Blog,



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