HURT ALERT!

Pain can produce potential.

It’s uncomfortable to rehash harmful memories, but let’s consider your most recent pain. Asking you to expose hurt may be a harsh start for a blog that’s meant to encourage, but let’s reveal our pain as a way to heal our pain.

Maybe you’ve been injured or had a health setback. Maybe someone ignored you or talked behind your back. Perhaps you’re unemployed or some persistent nagging remains. Be gentle with yourself and please don’t obsess over your hardship. 

How have you responded to your difficulty?

What do you want to happen next?

What needs to happen next?

How can this setback invite you to do one thing that supports you most for now?

I’m in an intense life recalibration. I want us to join hearts to discover how we can use the value of this current struggle. I don’t have traction yet. I don’t have clear direction today and compassion is especially crucial to me now.  

There are two primary areas I’ve (finally) admitted where I’ve disrespected myself.  I’ve lied, denied, and delayed decisions I’ve needed to make for overall health. It’s grueling because these resolutions include loss. Loss of familiarity. Possible loss of money. The cost of some former relationships. Loss of habits.

I’ve learned that familiarity doesn’t always mean truth. Routine doesn’t always make things right. I’ve suppressed layers of sadness and grief and replaced sorrow with guilt. Guilt that I should… Guilt that I shouldn’t…

I’ve tried to become bolder as I’ve grown older. When I’ve attempted healthy assertiveness and experienced negative responses, I’ve backed down. I feared disapproval or acceptance. I’d miserably plod along and compromise myself to appease someone else.

This dance pattern repeated itself. Step out. Jump back. Move forward. Kick back. Same dance, different venue. I’ve discovered that sometimes one pinky toe at a time has to count as a step. My practice of authenticity has revealed weaknesses. My strength increases at a miniscule pace.

Inside, for now, I resemble someone confined to an imaginary wheelchair. I have two healthy legs. My body carries my weight, yet mental and emotional bulk leaves me paralyzed for now. I remind myself to breathe and trust; accept this painful transition as temporary; seek resources while I watch and wait.

Reader, whoever you are, thank you for your tender heart. I’d rather post my naturally optimistic message, but I believe I’m to share this wilderness to remind us that victories require preparation before celebration.

I bravely ask you to unite as we discover answers to these questions: “Will we pivot in the present so we can enjoy pivotal futures?” Will we release a ‘good’ life (familiar, acceptable) to leap toward God’s best life?

Lord, help me leave a legacy that reflects Truth. Soften my heart. Strengthen my mind. Guide my spirit. Teach me how to accept your love.

Courageously,

Christina

“Listen carefully. Don’t get stuck in your ways!” (Jer. 13:15 MSG).